Insensitive People

We have all met them and we all have to deal with them.  I understand this.  But sometimes, you just want to punch someone in the mouth.

There is this girl in my class.  She wants to be my friend, but honestly, I'm not interested.  She has this "all about me" attitude that bothers me.  So I keep myself friendly.  I mentioned in passing that my boyfriend was a marine.  She asked me why I didn't tell her.  Next, she told me to be careful, that military men were more likely to be abusive to their spouses and partners after deployment and that I should break it off with him.  She told me it was a statistic from some study she read but I couldn't find it anywhere.

Then I mentioned that I was looking to send something to him while he was away.  She started suggesting really expensive and sexual gifts.  We have never done that so I said I wasn't interested in making him feel teased.  And that I didn't want to send something too expensive.  I didn't want it to get ruined where he was deployed and I didn't have that kind of money.

She then suggested that I buy a thift store watch and put my picture inside.  Sounded like a good idea until I heard what she said next.

"And you can write on a note: "In case you get captured"."  And then she laughed.  LAUGHED!  Like it was some a joke of some kind!  That the idea of my boyfriend getting captured was some f*cking joke!

I resisted the urge to punch her, told her it wasn't funny and left.

I have been in tears for almost an hour and it doesn't look like I'll be stopping anytime soon.  The idea of something happening to him makes me want to puke.  I am more scared than I was before.

People like her suck don't it?

Scared Heart

And yes, I mean scared, not scarred.

I have been dating this really nice guy for awhile now. If you saw my last post, you saw my shortest relationship stuff. My boyfriend is the one who helped me get over and I didn't realize it he was flirting with me the whole time I knew him.

He is a great guy. And compared to the other people I have dated, he is like an angel sent from above. He is a gentleman, a cowboy, a Marine and he looks like a young Vin Diesel...

Who the hell read my diary and created this perfect man for me because I want to shake their hand!

Unfortunatly, it is a long distance relationship, seeing as I live in Michigan and he lives in California! >( Darn distance! But we talk all the time and I really care for him. He reminds me a lot of my dad and he makes me want to be a better person for him. I want him to be proud to have me by his side. (Granted, he says he is proud but darn it I have to do better to feel right standing next to his perfection!)

However, like every story, there is a dark side.

Because he is a Marine, there is a chance he could be deployed. I found out today there was a chance he could be deployed in June until September.

And I'm scared as hell.

He's afraid of a Dear John letter and me being unfaithful. His last girlfriend cheated on him when he was in bootcamp (I want to rip out her eyes and shake her hand at the same time...). I can understand why he is scared so I don't hold that against him.

I'm scared of the chance of loosing him.

My chest aches and I feel like I am going to cry. I am so scared something will happen and I will lose him, or he gets hurts. The last thing I want to hear is that hes come home in a box. And the worse part is, I can't even give my last repects to him because we haven't met eachother's family and I live across the states. (No my parents do not know I am dating him yet. And I don't plan to tell them until a bit later.)

Shit, now I am crying!

There is a chance he won't be deployed and part of me is praying with all my heart that he doesn't leave. The other part of me is yelling at the first part for thinking like that. He is a Marine, and he loves being a Marine, and his dedication and patriotisum make him him! And I wouldn't have him any other way.

But I'm so scared.

That's all I have to say right now. I need to find a box of tissues...





Peace, Love and all that Jazz, ~Talls