I am sure we have all felt this way. But often times, it feels like I can't even get my point across without getting brushed off or being called a bitch.
And it is this last one that pisses me off.
I'm not trying to be a bitch. Other say that I do not act like a bitch. But when one person, ONE person says that other people are saying I am like this and when those other people have no idea what I am talking about, it makes me even madder. And when I am trying to be serious, because it is a serious situation for me, and a person continually tells me to stop being so bitchy, I get pissed off!
And this has happen, more than once with only one person! She has been my friend forever and I am trying to hard to think she is doing what is best. But if I give into her, I get in trouble with other people. And I don't want that either. I went as far as to see if I could find a place to crash somewhere else on the weekends and she would have to drive herself to where we usually stay! And a part of me really wants to do that, but I can't because her family can not afford to have her take a car to keep for the weekend, they work!
But at the same time, having people telling me they heard that I am being mean, or acting bitchy, or something along those lines, and they are really not, pisses me off to no tomorrow! And because I didn't want people to say that, I got into a huge amount of trouble with my FAMILY and my dad, who is one of the most lenient people on the planet! And I feel awful!
I have no idea what to do. But in my entire life, I have been people's emotional punching bag. And that bothers me and scares me. And I thought I have moved out of that state in my life.
Apparently not, because I am under her thumb again.
I have no idea what to do. I feel so lost.
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